Here are the words of one legendary Justice on the matter:

At the constitutional level where we work, 90 percent of any decision is emotional. The rational part of us supplies the reasons for supporting our predilections.

Justice William O. Douglas

A Cheat Sheet for California Lawyers, by California Lawyers

Hello Counsellor: Here is a handy guide for quickly reminding yourself about those pesky deadlines that are forever haunting the solo practitioner.  BUT, please be advised that this is NOT a substitute for homework, AND YOU MAY NOT RELY on these dates as the “last word” on civil procedure deadlines. Dates change, or may vary from local rule to local rule, so please make sure to make sure.

SERVICE OF PROCESS

• • Serve Defendant after Complaint filed – 60 days after filing. [Source:  CRC 3.110]
• • Serve Defendant Added via Amended Complaint – 30 days after adding.  [Source:  CRC 3.110(b)]
• • Proof of Service of Summons and Complaint (proving to Court that you served Defendant) – 60 days after serving complaint.  [Source:  CCP § 538.210]
• • Defendant Time Limit to File Answer or Demurrer – 30 days from date complaint was served.  [Source:  CCP § 412.20]

DISCOVERY

• • Plaintiff may serve discovery questions – 10 days after service of complaint.   [CCP §2030.020]
• • Subpoena for Personal (medical) records – Must be served on consumer at least 15 days (in actuality 20) days before date of production.  [CCP § 1985.3(d) incorporating CCP 2020.220(a)].  The subpoena may not be served on records custodian until at least five days after service on consumer.  [CCP § 1985.6(b)(2) & (3).] Must be served on records custodian 15 days before date of production.
• • Motion to Quash Subpoena Duces Tecum – must be served on defense counsel at least five days before date for production of documents.  [CCP § 1985.3(g).  1985.6(f)(2)]  Note:  Court may still grant a motion to quash after this time.  [Slage v. Sup.Ct. (1989) 211 Cal.App.3d 1309, 1313]
• • Motion to Compel Additional Answers – 45 days.  [CCP §2030.300]
• • Respond to Written Discovery – 30 days (+5 days if questions were mailed).
• • Discovery Closes Before Arbitration – 15 days before arbitration.

[CRC 3.822]

• • Discovery Closes Before Trial:  30 days before trial – or 15 days before arbitration.  [CCP § 2024.020]
• • Last Day to Hear Discovery Motions – 15 days before trial.

[CCP § 2024.020]

• • Practical Last Day to Serve Discovery (and be able to make a motion on it) – 90 – 100 days before trial.
• • Deposition Notice – Defendant may serve any time.  Plaintiff must wait 20 days after service of summons and complaint to serve.  [CCP § 2025.210]
• • Depositions – Must be set at least 10 days in the future (+5 days if the notice is mailed – CCP § 1013), at least 20 (+5 days if notice is mailed – CCP § 1013) if deposition notice includes a request for documents.  [CCP § 2025.270]

EXPERT DISCOVERY

• • Experts Must Be Demanded  – 70 days before trial (or within 10 days of setting trial date, whichever is closer to trial date) [CCP § 2034.220]
• • Experts Must Be Disclosed – 50 days before trial (or 20 days after service of demand, whichever is closer to trial date).  [CCP § 2034.230]
• • Supplemental Expert Disclosure – Must be disclosed within 20 days of the Exchange of Expert Witnesses.  May only disclose witness to cover a subject covered by opponent’s witnesses.  [CCP § 2034.280]
• • Expert Depositions – May be set “on receipt of an expert witness list from a party.”  [CCP § 2034.
• • 410]
• • Expert Discovery Cut Off – 15 days before original trial date.  [CCP § 2024.030]
• • Last Day for Motions Regarding Experts – 10 days before original trial date.

[CCP § 2024.030]

TRIAL

• • Discovery Closes (with the exclusion of expert lists, and expert depositions) – 30 days before trial, or after non-binding arbitration.  [CCP § 2034.210;

CCP § 1141.24]

• • Experts Must Be Demanded – 70 days before trial (or within 10 days of setting trial date, whichever is closer to trial date).  [CCP § 2034.220]
• • Experts Must Be Disclosed – 50 days before trial (or 20 days after service of demand, whichever is closer to trial date).  [CCP § 2034.230]
• • 998 Offers to Compromise – Can be made up until 10 days prior to trial. [CCP § 998]
• • Notice to Appear at Trial (to party) [With Documents] – 20 days before trial, send notice with time and place to attorney.  [CCP § 19871987(c)]
• • Notice to Appear at Trial With Documents – 5 days “or any other time period as the court may allow.”  [CCP § 1987(c)]

MOTIONS

• • Noticed motion – must be served and filed 16 court days before the hearing date (+5 more if served by mail) (+2 more if served by fax, express mail, or overnight delivery).  [CCP § 1005]
• • Opposition to Noticed Motion – must be filed and served 9 court days before hearing.  [CCP § 1005]
• • Reply to Noticed Motion – 5 court days before hearing.  [CCP § 1005]
• • Ex Parte Motion – Opposing party must be notified by 10:00 a.m. the day before the hearing, absent “exceptional circumstances.”  [CRC 3.1203].  Note:  This is a minimum.  Check local rules for more strict notice periods.

Manner of Service:  “Notwithstanding any other provision of this section, all papers opposing a motion and all reply papers shall be served by personal delivery, facsimile transmission, express mail, or other means consistent with Sections 1010, 1011, 1012, and 1013, and reasonably calculated to ensure delivery to the other party or parties not later than the close of the next business day after the time the opposing papers or reply papers, as applicable, are filed.”  CCP § 1005(c)]

CCP § 1013:  “… The service is complete at the time of the deposit, but any period of notice and any right or duty to do any act or make any response within any period or on a date certain after the service of the document, which time period or date is prescribed by statute or rule of court, shall be extended five calendar days, upon service by mail, if the place of address and the place of mailing is within the State of California, 10 calendar days if either the place of mailing or place of address is outside the State of California but within the United States, and 20 calendar days if either the place of mailing or the place of address is outside the United States.”

• • Motions for Summary Judgment – Notice is 75 days before hearing (+10 if outside of California, +20 if outside the United States)  [CCP § 427c(a)]  Opposition is 14 days before hearing [CCP § 437c(b)(2)]  Reply is 5 days before hearing.  [CCP § 437c(b)(3)]

STATUTES OF LIMITATION

• Breach of Contract (Written)  – 4 years [CCP § 337]

• Breach of Contract (Oral)  –2 years [CCP § 339]

• Fraud –3 years [CCP § 338(d)]

The statute does not “accrue,” or start running, until “the discovery, by the                     aggrieved party, of the facts constituting the fraud.” When “discovery” occurs is generally question of fact. When “the plaintiff suspects or should suspect that her injury was caused by wrongdoing,” the statute starts to accrue. Parsons v. Tickner, 31 Cal. App. 4th 1513 (1995).

• Personal Injury – 2 years [CCP § 335.11]

• • Medical Malpractice – 3 years from the date of injury, or 1 year after the plaintiff discovers the injury, whichever occurs first.  [CCP § 340.5]  Note:  You must give 90 days notice of intent to sue.  [CCP § 364]  Note:  Statute may be tolled by (1) upon proof of fraud, (2) intentional concealment, or (3) the presence of a foreign body, which has no therapeutic or diagnostic purpose or effect, in the person of the injured person.  [CCP § 340.5]
• • Lawsuits Against Public Entities (like cities or counties) – Must file a claim within 6 months.  Then you have 6 months from the date of the rejection letter to file a lawsuit.

Once again, please be advised that this page is not legal advice, nor is it intended as such, and there is no guarantee that this information is up to date.  If you need legal advice, you should contact a lawyer.

Signs and Notices:

◦   “No stopping or standing.” — A sign at bus stops everywhere.

◦   “Do not sit under coconut trees.” — A sign on a coconut palm in a West Palm Beach park circa 1950.

◦   “These rows reserved for parents with children.” — A sign in a church.

◦   “All cups leaving this store, rather full or empty, must be paid for.” — A sign in a Cumberland Farms in Hillsboro, New Hampshire.

◦   “Malfunction: Too less water.” — A notice left on a coffee machine.

◦   “Prescriptions cannot be filled by phone.” — On a form in a clinic.

◦   “You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.” — On a bag of Fritos.

◦   “Fits one head.” — On a hotel-provided shower cap box.

◦   “Payment is due by the due date.” — On a credit card statement.

◦   “No small children.” — On a laundromat triple washer.

◦   “Warning: Ramp Ends In Stairs.” — A sign, correctly describing the end of a concrete ramp intended for handicap access to a bridge.

As a lawyer, it’s not easy for me to admit that my profession is to blame for a certain amount of defensive commercial overreaction; in other words, the FOGS (“Fear of Getting Sued”). With simply too many frivolous lawsuits abounding, manufacturers and commercial ventures of all types trip over themselves to place “warnings” on their products in the vain hope of forestalling litigation. Two problems spring to mind, however: (1) the “warnings” are of no real legal merit, and (2) they can make you look stupid. Here are some examples, and see if you don’t agree.

◦   “Do not eat toner.” — On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.

◦   “Not intended for highway use.” — On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.

◦   “This product is not to be used in bathrooms.” — On a Holmes bathroom heater.

◦   “May irritate eyes.” — On a can of self-defense pepper spray.

◦   “Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth.” — On a novelty rock garden set called “Popcorn Rock.”

◦   “Caution! Contents hot!” — On a Domino’s Pizza box.

◦   “Caution: Hot beverages are hot!” — On a coffee cup.

◦   “Caution: Shoots rubber bands.” — On a product called “Rubber Band Shooter.”

◦   “Warning: May contain small parts.” — On a frisbee.

◦   “Do not use orally.” — On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.

◦   “Please keep out of children.” — On a butcher knife.

◦   “Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.” — On a birthday card for a 1 year old.

Throw Me a Bone Here, Nathan

Lawyer: “What is your brother-in-law’s name?”

Witness: “Borofkin.”

Lawyer: “What’s his first name?”

Witness: “I can’t remember.”

Lawyer: “He’s been your brother-in-law for years, and you can’t remember his first name?”

Witness: “No. I tell you, I’m too excited.” (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) “Nathan, for heaven’s sake, tell them your first name!”

Can We Start Over?

Lawyer: “You were there until the time you left, is that true?”

Lawyer: “So you were gone until you returned?”

Math Wasn’t My Top Grade

Lawyer: “The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?”

Tough Choice

Lawyer: “Were you alone or by yourself?”

Long Enough to Punch You in The Mouth

Lawyer: “How long have you been a French Canadian?”

We Weren’t At the Fair

Witness: “He was about medium height and had a beard.”

Lawyer: “Was this a male or a female?”

Shhhh…. I Told You Not to Ask Me THAT

Lawyer: “Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?”

Witness: “I went to Europe, sir.”

Lawyer: “And you took your new wife?”

Okay, Now I’m Beginning to Doubt Myself

Lawyer: “I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture.”

Witness: “That’s me.”

Lawyer: “Were you present when that picture was taken?”

Lawyer: “Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?”

Not With You

Lawyer: “Do you know how far pregnant you are now?”

Witness: “I’ll be three months on November 8.”

Lawyer: “Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?”

Witness: “Yes.”

Lawyer: “What were you doing at that time?”

Miami? Ridiculous

Lawyer: “Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?”

Witness: “I refuse to answer that question.

Lawyer: “Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?”

Witness: “I refuse to answer that question.

Lawyer: “Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?”

Witness: “No.”

So, an eastern European immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license and is told he has to take an eye test.  The examiner shows him a card with the letters:

C Z J W I X N O S T A C Z

“Can you read this?” the examiner asks.
“Read it?” the immigrant replies, “I know the guy!!”

◦   “Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking.” — On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

◦   “Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.” — On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.

◦   “This product not intended for use as a dental drill.” — On an electric rotary tool.

◦   “Caution: Do not spray in eyes.” — On a container of underarm deodorant.

◦   “Do not drive with sunshield in place.” — On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.

◦   “Caution: This is not a safety protective device.” — On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.

◦   “Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks.” — On an “Aim-n-Flame” fireplace lighter.

And this one, you have to read twice:

“Battery may explore or leak.” — On a battery. 

 You Could Hardly Tell Them Apart

Lawyer: “How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?”

Why Can’t I Get Answers Like That?

Lawyer: “And you check your radar unit frequently?”

Officer: “Yes, I do.”

Lawyer: “And was your radar unit functioning correctly at the time you had the plaintiff on radar?”

Officer: “Yes, it was malfunctioning correctly.”

But He Was Thinking About It. . ..

Lawyer: “What happened then?”

Witness: “He told me, he says, ‘I have to kill you because you can identify me.’”

Lawyer: “Did he kill you?”

Witness: “No.”

Thank Goodness for That Oath

Lawyer: “Now sir, I’m sure you are an intelligent and honest man–”

Witness: “Thank you. If I weren’t under oath, I’d return the compliment.”

Before you get all huffy, know that yours truly would only work in the “classics;” no nasty stuff for me.  So, you ready for this: The two cases I have handled related to the rights to “Emmanuel” — the first “soft-core” cross-over film that men could actually take their wives to see — and perhaps one of the two most famous pornographic movies of all time, The Devil in Miss Jones, based on the Jean Paul Satre masterpiece novella, No Exit.

 The Devil in Miss Jones has an infamous back story involving the Mafia, who gained ownership of the title along with the other all-time classic “hard core” film, Deep Throat. Indeed, the two flicks always played on a double-bill together, as in always. Google the films, you’ll find a great yarn that could be called, “The Mob Meets the Movie Business.”

In any event, while working on the Devil case, I had to fly to Las Vegas to take a deposition of an executive of a Pornographic Movie House.  We hit it off famously and, as it turns out, I would soon enough end up representing him.  But, while still opponents, I took his deposition, perhaps the most enjoyable I have ever conducted.  

So, I was looking for information on the whereabouts of a 3rd party witness, let’s call him “Mr. X.”  Verbatim, this is how the testimony on the subject went (I am the questioner, “Mr. Bob” is the deponent):

The Yiddish expression “kayn ahoreh” (watch out for alternative spellings) means some version of “no evil eye,” like “G-d forbid,” or spitting 3 times. Here is the expression used in a court of law:

Abe, an elderly man, was in the witness box.
“How old are you?”, asked the attorney.
“I am, kayn ahoreh, eightytwo.”
“What did you say?”
“I said I am, kayn ahoreh, eightytwo years old.”
“Please just give a simple answer to my question,” said the attorney, “How old are you!?”
“Kayn ahoreh, eightytwo.” replied Abe.
The judge then intervened, “If you don’t want to be held in contempt of court, the witness will answer the question and only the question.”
The defence counsel then got up and said to the judge, “Your Honour, may I ask the witness?” and turned towards Abe.
“Kayn ahoreh, how old are you?”
Abe replied, “Eightytwo.”