Signs & Notices: Read ‘em And Weep
Face it; lawyers are everywhere. And, besides Congress <gag> one place you are sure to find lawyers is in an office, dreaming up snappy little signs and/or notices for the titans of commerce. While they may look harmless enough, the underlying purpose of these pearls of idiocy is to lessen, limit and/or eliminate altogether the potential legal liability facing the company, or city, and/or manufacturer employing these nefarious nuggets. Please enjoy the following, gathered from near and far, and let me know: Are you warned?
Signs and Notices:
◦ “No stopping or standing.” — A sign at bus stops everywhere.
◦ “Do not sit under coconut trees.” — A sign on a coconut palm in a West Palm Beach park circa 1950.
◦ “These rows reserved for parents with children.” — A sign in a church.
◦ “All cups leaving this store, rather full or empty, must be paid for.” — A sign in a Cumberland Farms in Hillsboro, New Hampshire.
◦ “Malfunction: Too less water.” — A notice left on a coffee machine.
◦ “Prescriptions cannot be filled by phone.” — On a form in a clinic.
◦ “You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.” — On a bag of Fritos.
◦ “Fits one head.” — On a hotel-provided shower cap box.
◦ “Payment is due by the due date.” — On a credit card statement.
◦ “No small children.” — On a laundromat triple washer.
◦ “Warning: Ramp Ends In Stairs.” — A sign, correctly describing the end of a concrete ramp intended for handicap access to a bridge.